Fear.

Is there anyone else out there that is as scared to death of marrying the wrong person as me?  To the point where you desire to get married, but panic so badly that just being single is so much safer?  I can't even date, just for fun, without freaking out.

The Redeeming of the Captive

Jeremiah 29:11 has always been a favorite verse of mine.  Why?  Because it is the ultimate encouragement of hope for anyone!  Especially, in times of distress.  God is promising us a "hope and a future!"  As I've gotten older, and my thought process has slightly matured, I began to read this verse and be encouraged and then think, "but, wait...God was saying those words to the Jews.  Not to me.  I hope these words still mean something for me."  I was even quoting this verse to a friend this week in hopes of encouraging her.  I have also been reading through Jeremiah the past couple of months.  Today, I opened my Bible and was on chapter 29.  It didn't even hit me that this is the chapter with my beloved verse in it.  I was so engrossed in the story that when I began to read the words of verse 11, I was like, "OH! It IS chapter 29!"   But, reading this story brought these words more to life than ever before!  Throughout Jeremiah, God is constantly warning his beloved Jews to repent and turn from the evil sins that are keeping them in bondage.  They were worshiping other idols!! The ultimate slap to God's heart.  Oh, does he love his people so much!  Jeremiah's whole quest is to proclaim God's words to his people.  God gives them so many opportunities to repent and not have to face the punishment of captivity by the Babylonians.  But, he constantly promises that He will bring them back to Judah after 70 years.  The Israelites refuse to turn around and by chapter 29 many of them are already in captivity.  But, God wants to still encourage the Jews and reminds them of His promise.  He sends Jeremiah to them and has him say this...

¹⁰ This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. ^[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

As I was reading these verses, they became alive for me!  They turned from a message of hope about the future to a message of beautiful redemption!  With every word I was writing down, I could only see this image coming to life.  There was a girl in dark room, wearing a white dress, hair down, in chains.  She had chains around her wrists and ankles.  She was standing, trying to break free.  Yet, Jesus was watching her.  All I could see were his beautiful, big, brown eyes looking in this room.  In His eyes, were compassion, understanding, longing, and hope as he whispered the words of Jeremiah 29:10-14 over this woman.  This woman was not captive to the Babylonians, but to her sin!  Yet, Jesus was in the room!  He sees!  He doesn't turn away!  He feels it with us.  He longs to set us free.  To bring restoration to us! Because, in our chains He can still see the beauty that lies within us and he longs to set THAT free!  He knows we don't have the strength on our own to even fight off the smallest of sins.  I love you, Jesus.  Thank you for that message.  Because...I know I'm the one who needed to hear it. 

Justified

God totally used our pastor this morning.  I love the fact that this man is only two years older than me and is so annointed!  It is encouraging to know that this love is so real for so many. 

We are starting a new series on Romans 12.  As a start to the whole series, the pastor actually walked us through the first 11 chapters of Romans.  It was unreal the way he used scriptures to continually hit home the message of salvation.  The message of Jesus.  He gave an interesting analogy...a fabulous one!  He had been summoned for jury duty.  While waiting at the court house, the process ended up taking longer than expected.  So, they invited everyone into the court room before the jury selection had begun.  As the trial began, he saw that the defendant was a man around his age.  The judge began reading charge after charge that was brought against this man.  He then referenced how this will be us one day.  Standing before God, as he looks over every law we have broken.  I do not look forward to this day.  But, I had an image in my head as he was speaking of how I will be standing there before God, as he reviews every offense I have committed in my lifetime.  Everytime I think about this moment, I want to cry.  I know all of my mistakes.  They are numerous...and will continue.  But, then as I'm standing there, Jesus will be right next to me.  Because, I have placed my trust in him, he will stand there to defend me.  God will see this...and I will go 'free.'  Oh the image...I wish I would write better to truly express this.  But, it just makes the reality of Jesus and what he really means to me so much more real.  This man is the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with.  No. Matter. What.<><

Forgiveness

We as Christians should be the FIRST to understand that people are messed up and will mess up.  Are we not redeemed sinners?  Isn't that why we praise Jesus?  He endured the most painful death for our sins, our screw ups, because living in eternity with us was more important than his own life! 

As I was reading through Isaiah the other day, I was struck by one verse.  "...For he bore the  sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors."-Isaiah 53:12

Jesus is the only perfect man who has ever lived!  Never once did he sin.  Yet, while hanging on this cross, in all the shame that it would bring, he took all of our sins-past, present, and future-upon him.  To the point, where the Father had to turn his face away!  Yet, while he was hanging there dying in my place, he was still interceding for me!  Still praying that I would be redeemed!  That I would be made beautiful!  I had never truly realized the intercession part before.  How human I am.  My first reaction when someone does something bad to me is not usually to repay it with an act of love.  Thank you, Jesus.  The greatest gift I can repay you with, is to give you my life.

Good Friday.

Room to heal

Guilt.  Shame.  Fear.  Darkness.  Bondage.  Death.

Confession.  Mercy.  Forgiveness.  Love.  Freedom.  Life.

I have recently experienced God's unending mercy in my own life. (Lamentations 3:22-23)  I believe God has it all in His timing, but I feel like I could have begun the healing process much sooner--had I not let shame hold me captive.  I was afraid of the judgement people would have if they found out that I had sinned.  Being a semi-public figure in church and the community, I felt like I had a 'reputation' to uphold.  Quite possibly, I am just stupid for putting this mind set on myself.  After all, I am just a human. I began to ponder the idea that maybe if I confessed my sin out loud to a close friend or relative, it might somehow lose it's grip on me.  I began small.  I confessed it out loud to Jesus in my car one night.  I wept.  Even though I knew he knew, I still felt like something had changed.  I felt like I no longer was holding onto this sin by myself.  I had someone in the corner to help me out.  It actually made telling a friend or relative that much easier.  I felt more and more freedom. 

  This is just a thought I have been pondering...do we as Christians allow for healing to occur in our community?  Do we create an atmosphere of freedom?  Especially, for those who we respect and love? Pastors? Worship Leaders? Sunday School teachers? Etc.   Or, do we hold them on such pedestals that the minute they may think a bad thought, or sin begins to creep in their lives, they don't feel the freedom to confess and sink deeper into a mess?  Isn't redemption the beauty in Jesus's life?  Those who have much to be forgiven of love much.  (Luke 8:44-48) Just think of the power we would have in our ministries if we all truly experienced mercy or were led by those who have! I don't believe that our leaders need to confess their personal sins to the WHOLE congregation.  I just wonder how much shame plays a role in the falling and bondage of so many.  My heart aches to see people set free!  To live life as Jesus intended for them!  Living in bondage does no one any good.  It only leads to more brokenness.  God intended for us to fellowship.  I guess I wonder of myself...will I be judgemental?  Or, will I be prepared to love when a fellow brother or sister needs a listening ear? 

I needed to hear a message on mercy spoken the other night, to remind myself that I am redeemed and will be restored!  God is ALL POWERFUL and we should NEVER underestimate what He can do.

Isaiah 57:18-19.